IRWIN.

i think you wont ever read this. scratch that, make that never. unless i am in those kind of crazily happy moods. and its most likely that people will click on yr name to read this entry even though they have no idea who you are. but its okay. i gotta be honest when i do a love list right. youre definitely on it so there you go.

it should have been very obvious that we were very different people. you excel in badminton and soccer, but those were the sports that i suck at. i play bball, but you probably havent played that in a year. to me, you were one of those typical punkrocker, you skate you play the electric guitar and you listen to punkrock music.

it should be a miracle that we could have started talking about stuff, seeing that we have no common interests. its been really pleasant to talk to you nonetheless, its hard to go through the last few days of december without being reminded of how much we talked a year ago. i miss it, i wont deny it. and it would be comforting to even know that you remember it. and its definite that i miss it more than i miss you.

16jan was one of the mistakes i made in 2005. but the thing is, it was such a happy mistake i thinkt that day turned out to be the happiest day of my 15yr old life. we all had a great time, it was superduperuber fun. me and jo have often talked about what we would give up just to go back to that day and experience it all again, but yeah we know its impossible.

if you ever see this, i hope you know that im sorry. but thats only for 22nd jan because i totally blew up at you. im sorry that you had to listen to all my insults and stuff that i said in a fit of anger. after that i guess it wasnt my fault anymore that you were such a bastard i couldnt help swearing at you. and then i found out about some things about you that made me despise you even more and wished i never knew you.

and then i remembered that you dont visit blogs. and you seldom come online but once you made the effort to tag at my blog (after fiddling for a while). and all the stuff you said to me on 22nd jan that were really touching but i was too deaf to hear them back then. and the time when you had to pump 5km just because you wanted to leave early from training just to meet us at town. i guess the human heart tends to overlook the bad stuff and in the end i'll just end up forgetting about what an asshole you were.

now we're okay friends who talk occasionally and i think thats a fabulous thing (x
I MISS YOU OKAY.
but get it clear, its just as a friend. i know you are a great friend so wouldnt mind having you as one. thankyou for having been there once when i really needed someone, thankyou for your msges, and everything else that youve done for me.

<3, genie. (a letter on each finger!)


PS: your name's here not cos youre the most important out of the three. in this whole year, you were there for me first thats why! its chronological order.